bloglicious from 16/3/04... in my head but not on the page...
For those of you that know the gritty details of the weird chain of events in the last week, I will be repeating myself... I could have really let everything get to me, but an air of change is about.
I'm more unimpressed than upset, unimpressed at what alcohol and/or drugs and/or mild pieces of success can do to you.
I wasn't jealous, I wasn't sad, I did want to talk about it with a few friends, but I felt nothing.
Nothing at all, kind of let down I suppose and not respected, but when you realise you really do live a whole different and better life to someone else, it's not so bad.
I have love, and no I haven't been hiding a secret boyfriend in my hair... I have love around me in the form of a bunch of great friends.
I hope everyone takes note of the opening song in Moulin Rouge sung by David Bowie:
"The Greatest thing
You'll ever learn
is just to love
and be loved in return..."
Those four lines mean so much to me. Hopelessly romantic. Lost in imaginary visions of things to come. And occasionally reminding others that it's okay... I have love where this person currently (possibly) has none.
In this way I am thankful and not bitter.
That nothing feeling was more confusing than anything. I wonder what has happened to some of the natural stimulants in my body.
I haven't been riding much because as a temp I kind of have to dress up (and not smell), so I've been catching public transport. I don't mind catching it whatsoever, it just means where I was getting an hour of lower cardio at
least every second day, I'm now getting a little bit of walking in only. When I get home Friday, one of my friends and I are going to go on an hour walk. Not much I know, but better than nothing at all.
I think I might go on the liver cleansing diet, because, let's face it, it probably needs a good clean. Perhaps that will assist in correcting my metabolism.
I keep changing my daily 'lying in the park' position to get a different perspective. Today I note a different statue of which I must take a closer look at shortly. It's a lady holding a bouquet of flowers.
I should probably filter some of my money into a gym membership, personal trainer or naturopath... but I also think I just need to push myself, set aside certain evenings (or god forbid mornings) that I do specific things. Mix it up a little. Move and shake.
I find it hard to read still, and I realised I haven't really noted the news in the last month or so. I don't know if it's 100% healthy to be naive. I did get a newspaper last week and the story about a car park wanting to charge cyclists that worked in the building was appalling. Hopefully Bicycle SA step up to this one. They did a good thing with Cycle East during Feb allowing cyclists discounts at particular shops... promoting cycling and the shops willing to support the campaign. Good idea.