how did i know...

that i would become less of a prude in my old age?!

haha, yes yes i know not that old particularly but you know, it kind of works in that sentence...

today i had the delicious Gabi stab me in the guts with body jewellery.

i want my tattoo designed by my best mate and tattooed by a lovely lady who shared my house with me last year.

i want to go out and see more music and i want to be more creative and sing a lot more.

and make random videos for youtube to share silliness with the universe.

i bought some cowboy boots.
and some more perfume.
thanks to the pennies from kevin that is.

however i do overall feel like i will not fuck up or fail myself this time and certainly won't forget who i am for the sake of somebody else.
about freakn time.

rock.
and god damn do i want that boy ;)
no not THAT boy... a different one.
xJ

ps. this is rocking my world right now...

can't sleep...

because i think i just worked something out...

as you get older you all recognise that time actually moves terribly quickly...

hence, the reason that my mind is still bouncing around like a yo-yo is that it feels like it wasnt that long ago.

when the reality of the situation is that its taking me just about as long as the actual 'relationship' lasted itself to get out of the funk.

sometimes i guess you think you know people... when in reality you dont know shit.

so i wipe my hands of it all. numbers have been deleted. i am giving up trying to be nice. etc. etc. and seriously trying to get on with my life.

so much has actuallly happened since then when i think about it. i have done heaps of stuff, fun stuff, hard work, and made quite a bit of progress personally.

besides that, i keep meeting rad people who i love and they don't need a sad sack around ruining their chi either.

he never ever saw me angry, few people do, it usually takes a lot for me to actually yell, but if i saw him now i'd give him a piece of my mind. tenthousand.

i mean you have to be pretty stupid to use your womans computer...

thankyou thankyou to s, s + c for all of your support. i love all three of you crazy ladies. lots.

xJ

jebus tapdancing ch-rist!

hahahaha! almost laughable what i discovered today.

isn't it funny when people have two sides, possibly a split personality, and obviously no respect for the woman who is supporting them.

and who in their right mind advertises for such 'relations' on myface? retards that's who.

so initially i freaked and went 'what the...?' and now i just think whatever dude.

seriously, had fun, no regrets, except perhaps i wasted time worrying about it for so long afterwards.

bwargh hargh hargh hargh hargh. loser.

his number deleted, associated relatives numbers also deleted. I've had enough and am looking forward to getting on with my existence.

applied for work at another festival today. have got two more lined up already for later in the year. looking good.

and i will get my proper contract for work this week, even though i can see we are in for a long tough time...

heading off to drink with my bestie and her bro and some visiting englishmen. i can tell there will be much beer and silliness. just what i need. looking forward to it.

have a gorgeous evening all.

xxJ (the amused)

life in bristanbul...

well i feel a wee bit more like me and a little less like sad sack confused julie which is particularly nice.

body is very sore, probably too much fluffing about on the laptop this weekend.

just had a quick phone convo with a mate who i have left behind in adelaide. kinda sad.

but yes, the last week or so we have been cooking lots, talking crap, walking home in the middle of the night, spending time with nice people and i have been working particularly hard.

xxJ

the globe...

random!

dark corners...

lampy mclamp lamp...

ez pez...

umm, i don't think the pool cue's on fire...

me and new roomie yvette...

all in all disappointed with the 20 bux we spent to see an 'intimate' show of the basics.... film when you wanna see the real band is a bit ripped off. not to say you guys aren't good but brian and i went for coffee and cake and returned and were still disappointed.

boo hiss.

xxJ

it's raining....

again!
see it would be good if we could all stand outside, blow, and move these clouds down to SA where they need it a hell of a lot. or at least blow half of them.

saw my ex lover and friend the other day. it made me kind of sad. because even though the whole thing really hurt, and i have been through every emotion imaginable in the past couple of months, i still miss my friend.

but because he is not willing to talk about it and seems only ashamed of the whole thing, i am not sure there is a point seeing him unless he changes his mind about discussing it.

so i mainly spent the weekend smoking, drinking and sleeping. not to excess or anything, but of course i am again distracted, worried about money, worried about myself, trying to get my motivation and my mojo back...

i think, overall, i am tired of feeling like shit, feeling drained and feeling confused.

i guess i know that it was nothing to do with me. troubled? yes.

xJ

where did you get that funk???

where did you get that funk....???

so many people got twitter accounts because ellen degeneres said so. hehe. that's funny.

so i'm still kind of in this funk because now that i'm a week or so behind in rent, with little cash, starting work again on monday, need a housemate, waiting to hear on melb comedy festival work application, lah lah lah.

on top of that my computer decided to shit itself but at the moment it's stable. which is terribly weird, they're sending me a new hard drive and everything but it seems ok since i got it to do a check disk thingy. damn technology. especially when i need it to look for courses and jobs and such and such.

anyhoo so cross your fingers and toes that a) i can eat for the next week, b) my sleeping goes back to normal and c) i can meet a non emotionally retarded man sometime soon as well. hehe.

much love,
xJ