Ok so… the following thing have occurred to me (and I can’t guarantee they make any sense as yet)…
1) I built my arts/festival network up in RADelaide and then ran away from it. Why is that?
2) Perhaps it’s just that I have to be more selective and not put my hand up for everything, and besides that, not do it when I have a full-time job as well!!
3) If I surround myself with creative types here in Brisbane, hopefully some of their creative energy will wipe back off onto me…
4) I feel like I want to get back into performing and that is scary as hell… it’s been 13 years I think since I stood on stage. Maybe 12… This is part of the reason Adelaide seems such a promising avenue for me. I think no matter what I come up with creatively down there, someone will be bound to appreciate it. I don’t think the folk of Brisbane are quite as open.
5) Perhaps now that I have a job where I am well respected and well paid I feel like I have conquered the administrative world. It certainly hasn’t been that driven by money because I haven’t done any extra study to validate my skills, just learnt as I have gone along. The money thing seems irrelevant if you’re not that excited about work.
6) That said, I do quite like my job and will miss the people I leave behind if/when I decide to frock off. Seems crazy to move back across the country, but I also feel like if I really put my mind to it, I could achieve great things in Adelaide and Melbourne festival scenes. Even if for every one I just co-ordinate volunteers or something. I loved that with SOOB (Straight Out Of Brisbane)
Does any of this make sense to anyone? It’s kind of starting to make sense to me. Thank god for that!