my friend the shazzy-cake...

hey that's weird.

anyhoo, my friend Sharon now has a new online store for her handmade kids clothing. You can find it here:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/sparklepanda

that be all. xo

Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2010

I had the absolute pleasure of working in the Victoria Hotel with a bunch of awesome front of house, engineers and performers at this years festival.

It was my maiden voyage as a worker and I hope I held up my end of the bargain.

Here's a couple of random pics. xo

Rodriguez...

yes that's right, RODRIGUEZ... not of the vs gabriela variety but of 70's stoner folk rock guy.

Went to the Corner Hotel in Richmond last night, my first time there apart from picking up the ticket. The beer was relatively cheap, the crowd really huge and receptive and it was simply a great night indeed. Photos to come.

And at the end some girl near me said 'man, he only made two albums and he couldn't even play STREET BOY?!" which made me laugh.

back to work again tonight. only 9 days left of the festival. i may cry.

xx

2010...

Well hi 2010, thanks for stopping by, you sure are turning out to be a nice little year indeed...

Rodriguez C Gabriela - Sunset Sounds, Riverstage, Brisbane, Jan 2010

Amanda sliced and diced my hair at the end of February...

Played at X&Y once Tank arrived in Queensland...!!

And I packed up my little house in Bristanbul and headed for Melbourne Town...

thanks for being patient, dear readers, if there are any of you left that is... there will be more, real, detailed, crazy tales very soon i can tell you.

xx

*blowing the dust off the blog*

oh sorry blog... i keep telling you i will look after you like a puppy and i get so caught up in the universe and stupid other interweb based programs that i neglect you... accept my deepest apologies...

so recently... ok so this year totally blew for about the first three months for a variety of reasons... apart from having the complete misfortune of being involved with someone who had put too many holes in their brain and didn't understand the words 'common decency', fell out of work and was completely broke at the wrong time too... well i mean this is never for long but it was all terribly bad timing.

anyways, took me a wee while to understand and all, but the point of the whole thing was well you can't control other peoples behaviour, only your own. and the reality is that i walked away a little bruised but unscathed really. and truly have been having a WAY more fun time instead of hibernating with the one person all the time.

i mean shiz, it can be totally great hibernating with a special person, but starting to believe i was more like a convenient piece of equipment to prop up the ego and cop all of the negative rantinga bout the universe than anything else. shit happens eh?

and so more recently and quite by chance i met someone out and about in brisbane who evidently is a little bit special... has been completely upfront about baggage from the get-go, albeit brief, confessed to missing me after not really having been apart for all that long (i felt exactly the same, and said so, is it stupid?) and being simply happy in my company... and has now asked for time to get his focus back and sort out some aforementioned baggage. which is completely fine with me. it's way too important to be let lie so i would never stand in the way of anything like that. my door is totally always open to him and i am grateful to know an adult who just steps up and says it rather than fucking me around.

people who know me very well probably realise that i am a frikn prude, don't sleep around or waste my time too much with people that aren't worth my time (ooh, except that ex-one, my bad).

so i leave it as it lies, press pause as it were, and just keep asking the universe to assist him with his gear and me with my gear, and that we will again cross paths and be excited about each others company...

xxoo

how did i know...

that i would become less of a prude in my old age?!

haha, yes yes i know not that old particularly but you know, it kind of works in that sentence...

today i had the delicious Gabi stab me in the guts with body jewellery.

i want my tattoo designed by my best mate and tattooed by a lovely lady who shared my house with me last year.

i want to go out and see more music and i want to be more creative and sing a lot more.

and make random videos for youtube to share silliness with the universe.

i bought some cowboy boots.
and some more perfume.
thanks to the pennies from kevin that is.

however i do overall feel like i will not fuck up or fail myself this time and certainly won't forget who i am for the sake of somebody else.
about freakn time.

rock.
and god damn do i want that boy ;)
no not THAT boy... a different one.
xJ

ps. this is rocking my world right now...

can't sleep...

because i think i just worked something out...

as you get older you all recognise that time actually moves terribly quickly...

hence, the reason that my mind is still bouncing around like a yo-yo is that it feels like it wasnt that long ago.

when the reality of the situation is that its taking me just about as long as the actual 'relationship' lasted itself to get out of the funk.

sometimes i guess you think you know people... when in reality you dont know shit.

so i wipe my hands of it all. numbers have been deleted. i am giving up trying to be nice. etc. etc. and seriously trying to get on with my life.

so much has actuallly happened since then when i think about it. i have done heaps of stuff, fun stuff, hard work, and made quite a bit of progress personally.

besides that, i keep meeting rad people who i love and they don't need a sad sack around ruining their chi either.

he never ever saw me angry, few people do, it usually takes a lot for me to actually yell, but if i saw him now i'd give him a piece of my mind. tenthousand.

i mean you have to be pretty stupid to use your womans computer...

thankyou thankyou to s, s + c for all of your support. i love all three of you crazy ladies. lots.

xJ

jebus tapdancing ch-rist!

hahahaha! almost laughable what i discovered today.

isn't it funny when people have two sides, possibly a split personality, and obviously no respect for the woman who is supporting them.

and who in their right mind advertises for such 'relations' on myface? retards that's who.

so initially i freaked and went 'what the...?' and now i just think whatever dude.

seriously, had fun, no regrets, except perhaps i wasted time worrying about it for so long afterwards.

bwargh hargh hargh hargh hargh. loser.

his number deleted, associated relatives numbers also deleted. I've had enough and am looking forward to getting on with my existence.

applied for work at another festival today. have got two more lined up already for later in the year. looking good.

and i will get my proper contract for work this week, even though i can see we are in for a long tough time...

heading off to drink with my bestie and her bro and some visiting englishmen. i can tell there will be much beer and silliness. just what i need. looking forward to it.

have a gorgeous evening all.

xxJ (the amused)

life in bristanbul...

well i feel a wee bit more like me and a little less like sad sack confused julie which is particularly nice.

body is very sore, probably too much fluffing about on the laptop this weekend.

just had a quick phone convo with a mate who i have left behind in adelaide. kinda sad.

but yes, the last week or so we have been cooking lots, talking crap, walking home in the middle of the night, spending time with nice people and i have been working particularly hard.

xxJ

the globe...

random!

dark corners...

lampy mclamp lamp...

ez pez...

umm, i don't think the pool cue's on fire...

me and new roomie yvette...

all in all disappointed with the 20 bux we spent to see an 'intimate' show of the basics.... film when you wanna see the real band is a bit ripped off. not to say you guys aren't good but brian and i went for coffee and cake and returned and were still disappointed.

boo hiss.

xxJ

it's raining....

again!
see it would be good if we could all stand outside, blow, and move these clouds down to SA where they need it a hell of a lot. or at least blow half of them.

saw my ex lover and friend the other day. it made me kind of sad. because even though the whole thing really hurt, and i have been through every emotion imaginable in the past couple of months, i still miss my friend.

but because he is not willing to talk about it and seems only ashamed of the whole thing, i am not sure there is a point seeing him unless he changes his mind about discussing it.

so i mainly spent the weekend smoking, drinking and sleeping. not to excess or anything, but of course i am again distracted, worried about money, worried about myself, trying to get my motivation and my mojo back...

i think, overall, i am tired of feeling like shit, feeling drained and feeling confused.

i guess i know that it was nothing to do with me. troubled? yes.

xJ

where did you get that funk???

where did you get that funk....???

so many people got twitter accounts because ellen degeneres said so. hehe. that's funny.

so i'm still kind of in this funk because now that i'm a week or so behind in rent, with little cash, starting work again on monday, need a housemate, waiting to hear on melb comedy festival work application, lah lah lah.

on top of that my computer decided to shit itself but at the moment it's stable. which is terribly weird, they're sending me a new hard drive and everything but it seems ok since i got it to do a check disk thingy. damn technology. especially when i need it to look for courses and jobs and such and such.

anyhoo so cross your fingers and toes that a) i can eat for the next week, b) my sleeping goes back to normal and c) i can meet a non emotionally retarded man sometime soon as well. hehe.

much love,
xJ

fringey bits...

Monski Mouse spruking for the Puppet Palace

Leigh Stardust in between sets at the Garden...

me and shuzzbutt hanging in the garden...

Frehd Astarr - There's Something About Fairy - Rhino Room

xJ

struggling a bit today...

it's taking all of my willpower to refrain from being nice as well...

it's his birthday today you see. i would have spoilt him rotten today and been taking him to a-town for fringey goodness this week... instead i am going alone.

thought i didn't care, i obviously do. damn emotions!

anyhooooo... watching 'smart people' for the second time, as the first time i didn't really watch it properly, but as you can probably tell again i am not watching it properly! BUT i will say that i think it's quite a good interesting movie indeed, they're all a bit disfunctional. i like that.

can't wait til they fix the roof properly then i can set the bloody office back up properly!
well set it up PROPERLY for the first time i guess. starting to move in the right circles i feel... it's taking me a while but i know the year of the darned earth ox is upon us so it will not be easy for many of us.

oh and it's so darned hot again today as well, must be mid 30's at least... and not much air moving. quite unpleasant. yukky.

have a great day anyways folks!
xJ

pappy smurfday to Tor... pappy smurfday to Tor...

Sammi, Tor, Moi

we went for a little adventure to the Merthyr Bowls Club to have some bevs for Tor's birfday on Wednesday night... we had fun.

Sammi has loaned me a hair straightener so I'll have a play with it later today and see how random my self hairdressing skills are!

Have been playing on ebay, putting up some books et al. Also still waiting for my roof to be fixed and it's getting worse and worse by the day. Eek!

Planted some capsicum (pepper for you americans), basil and poppy seeds, hopefully they'll all come up trumps. Not going too badly for someone who has never grown Broccoli or Carrots before. I have had to erect a make-shift shade structure for the broccoli because they do get too much sun in the afternoon. Darn it I thought I had sussed it properly. Oh well we shall see how they go!!

Oh... and I got a 280 phone bill for all the confused calls i made after shitty shitty bang bang with boy. grrrr. double grrr.

but i'll get a new phone next week with a bonus PSP so that will make me smile momentarily.

have a gorgeous day.
xxJ

on with the show...

so i've transplanted my two broccoli plants that were sitting in a pot getting big enough to move into the garden bed... we shall see. go broccoli go!!

seem to be about 3 carrots going great guns as well. don't quite trust growing things under the soil in the garden bed so am keeping these in their pot. yay.

might try germinate some basil. basil is goood.

new hairdo looks fab but of course i wet it this morning in the shower so it's back to whispy mcfly away randomness so i will have to work out how to keep it managed without buying expensive hair drying implements!

haha.
have a gorgeous day.
xJ

a change is as good as a haircut...

and i have a sexy new one.

so there!

mwa mwa.

xJ

torn in two again...

well well well... and what should little julie faye do in this situation. just leave?
that makes me feel like i would be running away from something that was out of my control.
very silly.

last night i finally actually had a cry. it didn't last too long though. i'm just sick of thinking about the whole thing. i still feel concern, but as previously mentioned, the whole thing is out of my hands. having been the person in the last 3 or 4 months that has seen him at his happiest and his saddest, how he could push me away so viciously is beyond me. and the fact i was defamed for it is quite hard to deal with, because i simply don't get it. i just don't. have never ever experienced anything like it and hope i do not have to ever again.

everyone has been wonderful and listened to my surprisingly logical rants about the whole thing, sorry that some of you are probably way sick of it but it was quite a punch in the guts. should i just start being a bitch and not nice to anyone or something?! i don't think so.

some of it seems quite comical actually, doesn't mean the whole thing doesn't suck.

hmmm.... was so ready to have someone in my life too. still am.

where's my freakn apology jerk??!

xJ

we shall see then...

Daily Libra Horoscope - 20th February, 2009
I think it was Ghandi (forgive me if it wasn't, I'm in an Internet-free zone and can't check!) who said that we should be the change that we want to see in the world. That's an amazing concept. Imagine. You want your partner to live more healthily, so you rev up your own diet to be more healthful. Or you want peace in the world so you make up with someone you're feuding with. Etc. And this is relevant to you today because? You have a chance to turn one very close (maybe even blood-) relationship around today. If not today, then very soon.
(from yahoo7, moonology.com)

not him though, definately NOT him.
xxJ

so anyways...

i don't feel regret, remorse, grief, sadness, i feel some concern somewhere in the back of my head, because there was obviously something wrong that i was unable to tap into. i feel that all the people that need to know the reality of the situation already know. except one.

he forgets that i'm the kind of sentimental person that keeps messages and photographs... why i didn't write here what was making me feel so much connection and joy is beyond me. i have written some of it down to remind me. and perhaps if i had actually shown it to him, he would have gotten it. well it's mine now and noone can see it.

i enjoyed my time with him mostly, learnt some things about myself, and that's never a bad thing. i kind of believe i am beginning to not like drama. i also believe the 'return of saturn' is really and truly upon me. whether you believe in the way the stars and the universe affect you is irrelevant really. after having a read about it i definately see it. the person i am now is probably going to be the person i will be forever. so don't get caught up in the drama and just keep moving.

i quite like to be generous. it will probably mean i can never save money but i'd rather be remembered for being generous than for being a prude or simply a receiver and not a giver.

i am simply progressing with my years goals and perhaps will do some more research soon... in fact i know i will. might just take some time.

have been enjoying the company of good friends. and trying to get in touch with others that were left by the wayside...

and the ultimate decision whether i am done with this city still looms.

xJ