meander, keep moving, that's what it's all about isn't it?! not the hokey pokey, that just CAN'T be what it's all about...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

*blowing the dust off the blog*

oh sorry blog... i keep telling you i will look after you like a puppy and i get so caught up in the universe and stupid other interweb based programs that i neglect you... accept my deepest apologies...

so recently... ok so this year totally blew for about the first three months for a variety of reasons... apart from having the complete misfortune of being involved with someone who had put too many holes in their brain and didn't understand the words 'common decency', fell out of work and was completely broke at the wrong time too... well i mean this is never for long but it was all terribly bad timing.

anyways, took me a wee while to understand and all, but the point of the whole thing was well you can't control other peoples behaviour, only your own. and the reality is that i walked away a little bruised but unscathed really. and truly have been having a WAY more fun time instead of hibernating with the one person all the time.

i mean shiz, it can be totally great hibernating with a special person, but starting to believe i was more like a convenient piece of equipment to prop up the ego and cop all of the negative rantinga bout the universe than anything else. shit happens eh?

and so more recently and quite by chance i met someone out and about in brisbane who evidently is a little bit special... has been completely upfront about baggage from the get-go, albeit brief, confessed to missing me after not really having been apart for all that long (i felt exactly the same, and said so, is it stupid?) and being simply happy in my company... and has now asked for time to get his focus back and sort out some aforementioned baggage. which is completely fine with me. it's way too important to be let lie so i would never stand in the way of anything like that. my door is totally always open to him and i am grateful to know an adult who just steps up and says it rather than fucking me around.

people who know me very well probably realise that i am a frikn prude, don't sleep around or waste my time too much with people that aren't worth my time (ooh, except that ex-one, my bad).

so i leave it as it lies, press pause as it were, and just keep asking the universe to assist him with his gear and me with my gear, and that we will again cross paths and be excited about each others company...


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