point one, brain: smoking because your friend died is stupid. it will kill you.
point two, brain: save save save... save money. Yes i know i can do this one, providing I can earn a little more of it. (though my thoughts on this part of humanity are well known, me no likee money)
Well you know the universe always provides. I have been having a grand time over here in Canadaland recently. I do acknowledge that there are some behaviours that are slightly stupid on my behalf. But certainly am curbing my enthusiasm for them ever so slightly.
Lost in your little realm of stupidness.
I enjoy the company of good people, the financial thing does stress me a little. No wonder there are such social struggles here in BC. A guy asked for a couple quarters last night and then in his frustration said 'why will no-one give me it' and I had to answer 'because i'm on the poverty line too mate'... i mean i know my situation, looking at this particular guy, is way better. But it's the absolute truth. Slowly I am making headway. I monitor everything I spend and barely get any play money. Finding $50 on the street the other day meant I could buy pants for my theatre job and drink a few beers with a good friend. That was that. $50 kerblammo, bye bye, there you go.
But yes and of course as I suspected he was asking for change for the bus to get to MAIN STREET and HASTINGS. I could rant about what I thought immediately, firstly it would make me look like an arse, and secondly, who am I to judge?! These poor bastards in that part of downtown Vancouver do have it rough. They all have a story. And I would like to try and support the facilities in that area at least a little bit through the Hostel with our penny rolling initiatives and such.
The other week we rolled $133.50!!!! for the Pot Luck Cafe in the Downtown Eastside. I need to take it all to the bank and get the donation in something other than pennies, and started to make a nice poster for them with photos of the travelers who helped last night to give to them. I'm pretty happy with it and will put it up on here when it's finalised. (for those who haven't been here, rather than bag coins up like you do in Aus, you have to roll them into little containers to change them at the bank, it took the kids 2.5 hours to complete!)
So, back to my brain... it often plays tricks on me. Swirls around and around with the same little thoughts until they totally engulf and depress me. I'm getting better at controlling it. I've come up with one reason why it does this so often, therefore that habit has to stop.
Pretty simple really. Sometimes you think these things help, then you realise they hinder.
Should have been much clearer considering the relationships I've had with people over the years...
onwards and upwards...