I have to admit to not putting finger to keyboard before now because, of course, time-wasting... avoiding finishing assignments... having wine time and OH GOD there's another one of those feminine hygiene ads that I hate...
So last week when sitting around at home alone, I thought "It's May!! I'm going to go backwards and read every entry from May since this blog began". Now I don't believe I got all the way back to 2003 but I did come across a very interesting entry that I re-shared with one of my closest friends. And she pointed out something I had obviously missed whilst re-reading... along the lines of: "Ha! You became a citizen of the world."
What I'm referring to was a particularly low point in which I had an anxiety attack at work, brought on by a spiggin' douchebag of a human being who was being completely and utterly disgustingly rude (like, dude, it wasn't my fault you fucked your workmate and ended up living with her psychotic self...). Shortly thereafter the attack was confirmed and medicated by a doctor, and then I went back to a job which I was obviously dedicated to for some unknown reason, taking another couple of years to finally quit and follow the Festival Follower dream.
(The Festival Following is still not perfect, it's a work in progress in fact.)
I met someone a few years ago who is the ultimate inspiration, and if I can achieve what they have (approximately 4 months or so of actually being a citizen of the world in every given year) I feel I will have achieved my goal. It's getting pretty close, exciting of course, but terrifying at the same time. Not entirely sure why. Sounds pretty awesome really.
I was born in the late 70's and therefore just scraped in on Gen X. (That heck for that.) And now heading well into my mid-30's is kind of interesting. I realised recently that I was worried about this frown mark appearing in my forehead. A friend said "I don't understand why people get so bugged by that." - Not being a particularly girly or vain person, it seems an odd thing to be worried about. However I had this thought that you know what?! In this world of Android phones, updating status' on the bus and being constantly contactable and reading your emails on the go, guess what?! You're all going to end up with one. I thought it was all my years of computer based work full-time. (13 years at my count.) Turns out it's probably the fucking Android.
I could probably be doing much better than I currently am at the FF aspect of my existence, but you know between November and mid-April I was pretty well sorted. Short break and a few weeks in Sydney coming up. Not bad, not bad.... work in progress, as I said.
(Oh darn, brain has gone to putty - I had so much to write in my head about 20 minutes ago)
Fairly shortly I will be done with my course and that feels kind of nice. It's not exactly what I was hoping for, but I can't say I learned nothing at all. Now of course must decide on further study, including a language, before I creep any closer to 40.
40. Wow. That would be something.
Quick politics rant points:
- Clive Palmer = ick.
- Thank heck it's Budget Night tomorrow. Sick of the big media speculation, you'll have it in your hot little hands so REPORT IT PROPERLY.
- A vote for Labor in the Senate is most likely a wasted vote. Please help keep some Greens Senators in there to hold the balance, and block stupid legislation, should we end up with a full-blown Lib Govt *shudder*
For the record, take time out WELL before you actually have an anxiety attack. They're unpleasant as shit and drugs make you dopey.