i don't feel regret, remorse, grief, sadness, i feel some concern somewhere in the back of my head, because there was obviously something wrong that i was unable to tap into. i feel that all the people that need to know the reality of the situation already know. except one.
he forgets that i'm the kind of sentimental person that keeps messages and photographs... why i didn't write here what was making me feel so much connection and joy is beyond me. i have written some of it down to remind me. and perhaps if i had actually shown it to him, he would have gotten it. well it's mine now and noone can see it.
i enjoyed my time with him mostly, learnt some things about myself, and that's never a bad thing. i kind of believe i am beginning to not like drama. i also believe the 'return of saturn' is really and truly upon me. whether you believe in the way the stars and the universe affect you is irrelevant really. after having a read about it i definately see it. the person i am now is probably going to be the person i will be forever. so don't get caught up in the drama and just keep moving.
i quite like to be generous. it will probably mean i can never save money but i'd rather be remembered for being generous than for being a prude or simply a receiver and not a giver.
i am simply progressing with my years goals and perhaps will do some more research soon... in fact i know i will. might just take some time.
have been enjoying the company of good friends. and trying to get in touch with others that were left by the wayside...
and the ultimate decision whether i am done with this city still looms.
xJ
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