so what's REALLY wrong with me??

they call it hypermobility... it's not recognised by everyone as being a condition, but it's certainly of note.

it basically means your bones are more supple / flexible than a regular person and therefore if you fall down staircases like i did, you're more prone to having a serious injury.

you can read about it here: http://www.hypermobility.org and here: www.arc.org.uk/about_arth/booklets/6019/6019.htm

so i'll probably get some form of arthritis but there are preventative ways or... erm, something... to help control it. The most important being an excuse for me to get buff and build up as much muscle tissue around mainly affected areas (neck / arms) so as to protect my little bones in there.

which, if you ask me, is a much better option than 6 months of getting cracked by a chiropractor. i'll still be able to see my osteopath because it's a combination of deep tissue massage and some manipulation. but basically too much crunching and cracking could actually be much worse for bones like mine.

so yeh, that's all from me.
and it's all from him.
xJ

weekend del adelaide...

heidi and warwicks wedding was lovely. of course i had a cry, they are two of the most amazingly amazing nice people i know.

It was good to catch up with everyone there and get a bit loopy...

went into the city afterwards which was really dead... disappointing, but it kind of told me i dont belong there anymore.

i got more of a diagnosis on my stupid body... my aunt says it's "hyper-mobility"...
more on that later...

xJ

precious precious water...

Brisbane City Council water restrictions

It amazes me this hasnt happened before up here (i mean, maybe it has, i've not done enough research)...

i remember as a kid when we used to bucket the bath water out onto the garden so we wouldnt use too much water... etc etc etc...

i dont know if you educate people when they're young it sticks.

my friend whose been doing teaching prac did a whole 10 weeks with the kids about saving water and stuff, i thought that was great.

hmm, anyways. off to Adelaide tomorrow night for the weekend. hope to see some of y'all.
xJ

i'm watching grease...

it reminds me of being a kid, and that feels nice.

xJ

i feel pretty...

oh so pretty...
with this quoff on top of my head...
for i've just woken up...
and jumped on the puter...
to see how life has progressed...

how ridiculous!
anyways, last night made pizza with scottie and watched edward scissorhands, the newest part of my dvd collection.

last weekend judy and her son isaac came to visit me in sunny brisneyland, they also spent some time up near tin can bay with some family friends.
what a funny little time we had running amok with a two year old (well, ALMOST two).

i've mucked around on that hot or not website for years... killing time at radio with carlo and julia rating people and having a laff at some of the naff fotos people put up to try and make themselves look stunning. har har har.

all these wacky people hit me up saying they want to meet me, very rarely do i answer.

have organised to see my GP in adelaide, as well as my aunty who is a physio, and hopefully they will both have some suggestions as to what i should do about stupid neck problem. it could be responsible for a whole bunch of things i think, and so i look forward to any form of treatment that even vaguely works, so that my quality of life will improve.

xJ

damn it, lost a post!

my computer at home really is a pile of poo. I'd decided i hadnt written anything interesting or literate since the fall, and wrote this enormous post but it got eaten by cyberspace when my computer crashed again!

i entertained a german-tourist last night that i'd never met. a friend of pols friend in adelaide who returned to aus to see if a heart-string was still there. it was torn, so he rented a car and drove up here for ten days of exploring. we had a nice walk and drank some beer on my deck whilst it poured down with rain!

the wind is raging outside today, even though it's sunny. and therefore it's freezing. i need a warm shower!!
xJ

things i want to see...

jamiroquai
meat katie
the bangles
'witness the fitness'... ROOTS MANUVA!!!

hmm... AND trying to afford treatment on my stupid neck...

i'll have to become an avon lady!

xJ

the bangles...

are touring australia and NOT coming to brisbane?!!

What the FUCK!!!
xJ

decisions...

decided to get way more than one opinion on my spine... in fact i'm getting 4-5 opinions before i get anything done.

i'm seeing my aunty in adelaide who is a physio as well as my doctor there. And my osteo in brisneyland as well as a recommended physio up here if required.

still feeling rather random, but now it's my head that hurts. stupid falling down stairs, stupid stupid stupid!!

xJ

the verdict...

good things...
i dont have cancer and my bone density is fine.

mediocre things...
i have scoliosis of the spine (curvy spine, but not too bad).

horrid things...
my neck is rooted. it sits approximately 1 1/2 inches in front of where it should. it also requires about 6 months of chiropractic work.

xJ

i keep wondering...

why this city keeps trying to beat me...

this recent turn of events (ie. me falling down my staircase) has really thrown me.

I keep wondering if it's trying to tell me something, that being, that i should return home to adelaide.

but i do know that if i do go home i'm going backwards and not forwards.

even my cd player is vexing me today... skipping cds. though it could be the neighbour mowing the lawn making it shake. but that's unlikely.

I know that if I leave, I wont have the same opportunities I see for me here. Though Adelaide is great, it's too small. I feel I need to be somewhere larger and more vibrant to achieve what I want. Though I'm not 100% certain of what that is...

a few ideas have crossed my mind in the last few days, namely what i would do if i'm told that i do have some sort of bone related disease that requires me to keep active and protect my bones (ie. build muscles around them so they are protected better).

my initial idea is to keep working until the adelaide fringe next year, return for it, run a muck, then come back to brisbane and study perhaps to become a yoga trainer, personal trainer or something similar. It appeals to me because not only will i be looking after my own body, it's something that can make other people feel better about themselves as well.

That said, I've never been so good at science related subjects, most likely required to understand the inner workings of the body, what's good for you, what's not... then again, i'd really like to be fit, and if i was doing it full time and getting paid for it, that's not such a bad thing.

I'm feeling much better physically than I was Thursday and Friday, however it's hit me really for a six... it's hit me that possibly my whole life will change, depending what these results say. it's hit me that the people I need closest to me at the moment are nowhere to be seen, and a $300 plane ride home.

I am going back to Adelaide in about 3 weeks for wedding number four, so i guess i'll see how i go. I didn't want brisbane to beat me so easily, because I really like it, but I feel like I'm crumbling under the current pressure. It would not be so bad if i had some savings and didn't need to keep working, like a few years ago when I took 3 months off and worked part time to re-assess.

And because lately i've been able to walk home from work every day, I was feeling really good, even lost some weight, but with the fall i couldnt walk home weds, thurs or friday, and feel wretched for it.

I don't know what to do, and am feeling worse by the second.

xJ

feeling less fuzzy today...

must have been the pain killers that allowed me to sleep through the night. Still a little bit sore-like but not so bad compared to two days ago.


The Entrance to the Denver Zoo. Splendid afternoon looking at aMiNals and going 'ooh look at the monkeys' every few minutes!!

i only went to the GP yesterday (sharon) and he said the best thing for this was just to rest. I feel much better today, but wont get results on x-rays til monday... i opened them though and my spine looks crooked to me. (at least i think that it's not supposed to bend like it does) and the other noticable wacky thing i saw was at the top of my spine. oh yay.
but can't worry til i actually know if there's something wrong in there.

stupid body!
xJ

so it's really time for fotos now...

i have been told by the doctor to go home and REST.

So i am just going to post my fotos and then plonk myself in my loungeroom on the worlds most comfy chair and watch a home video or two (believe me, i've found some doozies of late!)


a bugs life ride in california adventure - cute is the only way to describe it!!

xJ

terrified of the unknown...

well somewhat...

my mother rang me this morning to tell me something she'd forgotten about when I was born.

Apparently they told her to push too quickly, causing them to ask my parents to massage my neck for a while after i was born (obviously) to prevent any damage / anything getting worse.

So I says (to mabel i sez)... "oh so what you're saying is that there's 27 years of damage there?!"

And start to think 'great, this just gets better'.

Today I am really sore, the bruise along the top of my leg has gotten way worse. The finger my right hand next to my little finger feels retarded. My shoulders and arms are tense...

And I can't see the spinal doctor til Monday night now. Which means I get to sit here and wait for the results, feel like shit and generally worry that maybe i did get concussion and should i really go to the doctor before that rib that's punctured some internal organ kills me.

AND on top of that (i know it's bad enGrish to start sentences with AND but fuck it) if I do have previously stated osteo arthritis, it is most likely going to mean that i need to stop doing any type of work that involves me sitting on my arse in front of a computer and do something more physical... and what that should be I'm not entirely sure, although a few things have come to mind.

This said, I am desperately trying not to panic in the mean time and worry about what will be, when it will be.

xJ