Sunday Rant on a Monday...

I have to admit to not putting finger to keyboard before now because, of course, time-wasting... avoiding finishing assignments... having wine time and OH GOD there's another one of those feminine hygiene ads that I hate...

I digress.

So last week when sitting around at home alone, I thought "It's May!! I'm going to go backwards and read every entry from May since this blog began".  Now I don't believe I got all the way back to 2003 but I did come across a very interesting entry that I re-shared with one of my closest friends. And she pointed out something I had obviously missed whilst re-reading... along the lines of: "Ha! You became a citizen of the world."

What I'm referring to was a particularly low point in which I had an anxiety attack at work, brought on by a spiggin' douchebag of a human being who was being completely and utterly disgustingly rude (like, dude, it wasn't my fault you fucked your workmate and ended up living with her psychotic self...). Shortly thereafter the attack was confirmed and medicated by a doctor, and then I went back to a job which I was obviously dedicated to for some unknown reason, taking another couple of years to finally quit and follow the Festival Follower dream.

(The Festival Following is still not perfect, it's a work in progress in fact.)

I met someone a few years ago who is the ultimate inspiration, and if I can achieve what they have (approximately 4 months or so of actually being a citizen of the world in every given year) I feel I will have achieved my goal.  It's getting pretty close, exciting of course, but terrifying at the same time. Not entirely sure why. Sounds pretty awesome really.

I was born in the late 70's and therefore just scraped in on Gen X. (That heck for that.) And now heading well into my mid-30's is kind of interesting.  I realised recently that I was worried about this frown mark appearing in my forehead.  A friend said "I don't understand why people get so bugged by that."  - Not being a particularly girly or vain person, it seems an odd thing to be worried about.  However I had this thought that you know what?! In this world of Android phones, updating status' on the bus and being constantly contactable and reading your emails on the go, guess what?! You're all going to end up with one. I thought it was all my years of computer based work full-time. (13 years at my count.) Turns out it's probably the fucking Android.

I could probably be doing much better than I currently am at the FF aspect of my existence, but you know between November and mid-April I was pretty well sorted. Short break and a few weeks in Sydney coming up. Not bad, not bad.... work in progress, as I said.

(Oh darn, brain has gone to putty - I had so much to write in my head about 20 minutes ago)

Fairly shortly I will be done with my course and that feels kind of nice. It's not exactly what I was hoping for, but I can't say I learned nothing at all.  Now of course must decide on further study, including a language, before I creep any closer to 40.

40. Wow. That would be something.

Quick politics rant points:
- Clive Palmer = ick.
- Thank heck it's Budget Night tomorrow. Sick of the big media speculation, you'll have it in your hot little hands so REPORT IT PROPERLY.
- A vote for Labor in the Senate is most likely a wasted vote. Please help keep some Greens Senators in there to hold the balance, and block stupid legislation, should we end up with a full-blown Lib Govt *shudder*

For the record, take time out WELL before you actually have an anxiety attack. They're unpleasant as shit and drugs make you dopey.

xJ

In essence...

In essence, hey? Well, that's nice smelling I suppose; essence that is. Depending on what activities you have finished off on this fine (?) day, wherever you are.

So, I'm down to 24 emails in my inbox; hey that's a vast improvement from about 65 a few weeks back. Heck! Why does this happen!? Too much to focus on, and yet little motivation to do so.

Well, I guess I'm talking about my 'study' here, which usually quite easily turns into using faceCOOL, youtube benders, and too many cigarettes. Though I am running out of time to complete the last 3 subjects before the Semester ends and I take a trip to SydneyWood; so crack my own whip I must. (yes yes Yoda, shut up).

For those of you who have attempted external tertiary study, you most likely feel my pain. When the course content isn't *quite* what you were after, but there's every possibility it may help you secure a longer, better, wider, contract... well, you just finish it off now don't you. No matter how frustrated and annoyed you get with it, and how much time you waste TRYING desperately to finish an assignment instead of falling asleep at the content... zzzzz.... or you know, for example, commit to writing more often in your very old neglected blog that sod all people would even bother to trawl any more *cough*...

About a week or so ago I had a few beers with the folks I currently do some temping with after work on a Friday, and on the way home got one of those 'what am i doing?!' feelings. I had then tried to phone the lovely Sam for an existential chat, unfortunately she was out. Regardless, these feelings generally arose so much more in my 20's - so much so that I decided to pack it all up and move to Bristanbul in 2004.

Last Friday I was again talking to myself in my own head (not out loud, that's crazy, right?!) about the choices I am making and whether they are the right ones...

When I got home and was sitting out in the pergola, I looked up and realised.... it was a full moon. A cunty full moon!

Now I grew up being told, particularly in high school, that I was a hippy. Probably far from it in reality, except that I gave a shit about the planet and social issues, and liked seeing bands and producing radio shows instead of buying Adidas Equipment sweaters and playing basketball. (BAM! Suck on that 90's kids!)

Okay, okay and there was that giant silver peace symbol necklace I used to own. Whatever happened to that?! Never mind.

I'm not really sure what a full moon does, but it seems to bring out the crazy in everyone, the questions; so. many. questions! But never really werewolves... I can't claim to have ever seen that.

Procrastination, my favourite hobby, let's be honest; but then again, I absolutely can tell you exactly what I've done in the last 24...

• a load of laundry; inevitable.
• listened to Public Enemy's "Fear of The Black Planet", Elvis Costello's "When I was Cruel", Novi Split's "Keep Moving" and currently The Yeah Yeah Yeah's "It's Blitz". (instilling such good memories of the New Years dance floor at Falls - wet weather craziness!). I'm currently cataloguing everything media-based that I own - which will take quite a while - but in honour of that mission I'm trying to go back and listen to all of the albums I have, and I guess decided where to cull if I feel the need.
• Installed Spotify on my computer, to listen to a little Glitch-Hop in preparation for my Canadian Summer. Hey, I chase the Summers as best I can. It's not going too badly. So shoot me. *shrug*
• Had a chit chat with Canadian & Australian friends via the web.
• Been distracted by the many fantastic comedy videos put out there by the delightful Jy Harris - who I look forward to seeing in July (...has it been 3 years?! Ho-ly!).
• Which somehow eventually reminded me to look up that weird American guy Toby as well who videos and records himself narrating himself playing video games. I get it, he's funny, but the mind boggles about the celebrity status of this dude, and many many other youtube sensations. Psy, anyone?!
• Washed and blow dried my hair, necessary to do in the middle of the day on a weekend, instead of first thing in the morning. Seriously, who blow dries their hair?! *Pffft* Me, obviously. At least in colder weather.... Curls. Yeah, I have them. Embraced them in the last few years, with some help from Neel.
• Read Benjamin's article on New Matilda about the NDIS. Great!!
• Filled out my scribbled notes into the dreaded current assignment, formatting the 'function agreement' part of said assignment, but yet to have filled it with data. At least it looks pretty.
• Got half way through writing an email to Minister Conroy about the importance and validity of helping to fund Community Radio, particularly with all the upgrades to equipment that will be necessary in coming years; and the importance of rural stations.
• Hmmm... what else?!!... a little bit of something something I suppose... Yes, that will do.

What is the point of this entry? You are probably asking this after reading the above waffle.

Mmmm waffles.

I apologise for that, I truly do, but hey, at least I just taught you how to procrastinate didn't I?!

And so, in closing...

Dearest Friends around the World, you are all spectacularly talented and I love you.

Don't ever forget that.

xJ